This Thing We Do
by freifraufischer
Summary: Romantic Snow Queen. After the curse, after the nightmares of their personal feud, Snow and Regina find themselves drawn together in a passionate, on again, off again affair fueled by hate and love and a bit of self loathing. But could it ever be more than that?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is a compilation of the _This Thing We Do_ stories. They were always intended in my mind to stand alone, but some readers have requested that I put them in one story for the ease of those following the series.

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><p><em>Post 2.09<em>

Snow spent a good part of the afternoon and most of the evening celebrating with her friends and family. It wasn't an organized thing, that would come tomorrow, but they had pushed together tables in the middle of Granny's and they'd celebrated the end of Regina's curse as much as having Snow and Emma back. She had held hands with her husband, and gossiped with Red, Emma told stories about eating chimera and kept asking why they didn't invent guns in the Enchanted Forest.

And they told stories of their heroic adventures, not all of them new, but that always seemed to go quiet again as Henry would try and tell them about how his mom had saved them today. Each time he called Regina that Snow flinched. Ruby tried to point out to him once that she'd been trying to kill Emma and Snow, but he'd have none of that. Mr. Gold had been trying to kill them, his mom had saved them.

The adults let the matter drop, but the third time he brought it up Snow reached for his hand. "I know what it is to love Regina, Henry. It hurts. Loving Regina always hurts in the end more than hating her. But this isn't the time or the place and you can't save her soul."

But Henry shook his head defiantly and announced to Emma that he wanted to go back to the loft.

He didn't say home and Snow flinched.

That woman. That woman always got her hooks into you. She'd done it to her. She'd done it to that foolish genie that she convinced to kill for her. And now she'd done it to her grandchild. And a dark mood settled over Snow's eyes even if she was still laughing at the dwarf's jokes.

She knew most of the punch lines already. There were only so many jokes about mining that could be told before they started to repeat. David squeezed her hand and she smiled back. "With Henry and Emma at the loft I'm not sure we can celebrate the way I'd like now..."

She smiled at him.

"We could get a room at Granny's ... make it a special night." He suggested.

"It's already special because I'm with you. We can wait until they're out tomorrow." She kissed his nose. "Besides, I have something I have to do tonight."

"What?" David asked confused.

"Regina."

Her husband sighed. "Snow... can't you get your mind off her finally?"

"She either tried to kill me today, or tried to save my life, and I'm not sure which is more disturbing."

He shook his head. "As hard as it may be for you to believe, I've been around her for the last few weeks, I honestly doubt it had anything to do with you."

He nodded to Emma and Henry as they were putting on their coats to leave.

"Well than I still need to thank her for saving our lives. Because I wont be in her debt."

David gave a long suffering sigh, and nodded. "I'll go with you."

"No." Snow said too quickly. "If she really is reachable finally... it should just be us."

"Snow she has her magic back... she's trying not to use it but it's not safe."

"Even without magic, Regina's never safe. I can take care of myself David."

She smiled and kissed him again. "Go home and get some rest. I wont you alert tomorrow and that sleeping curse doesn't actually count as rest."

And David knew when to stop arguing with his wife. Especially over the subject of Regina.

The mansion wasn't somewhere Mary Margaret had ever been. The white house on Mifflin Street was mostly empty now, but there was a light on in a few of the corner rooms that she could see from the street. Walking up the front path she could see that Regina was moving around in what was likely the kitchen. It was dinner time. Except part of her had trouble imagining Regina cooking. She supposed she had to have learned sometime in the last twenty-eight years. She missed servants. Not that she didn't know how to cook herself, but servants were nice.

She watched Regina through the windows for she had no idea how long until she moved to a room without an easy view. With a heavy sigh she mounted the steps and rang the bell.

And there was no answer. She rang it again and waited patiently. And no answer. Regina wasn't answering the door. Did she know it was her? Had she seen her watching her through the window?

Embarrassment mixed with the anger at being ignored. She poked around the bushes until she found a fake plastic rock and was rewarded with a key to the front door. Sliding it into the lock she heard a satisfying click and pushed the door opening, pocketing the key.

"Regina?"

She called out. Better than to be greeted by a fireball. Though that was still possible.

Predictably Regina's voice was annoyed, "Get out."

Mary Margaret glanced around the house. Neat. Tidy. Elegant. Nothing like her own space, and nothing like the mess that she knew Regina's mind was. She followed the voice to a small sitting room with book shelves and a fire going. Regina was standing by a decanter with a glass in her hand.

"You didn't answer the door."

"Most people would take that as a hint. How did you get in here?"

"You forget I was a bandit."

"No, actually I didn't, now get out Snow."

Regina marched past her and back towards the kitchen.

"It's Mary Margaret here. You should know, you gave me that name."

Regina laughed. "You aren't here because of Mary Margaret, or what I did to her. You are here because of what I did to you, Snow."

The kitchen was bright and clean. There were dog eared cook books on a shelf and a large bowl of apples next to a pie on the island. A small plate of food, half eaten but mostly picked at was on the counter next to a glass of water and a bottle of Tylenol.

"Don't you have magic, why do you need those."

The shift of subject made Regina blink. "It's best not to use magic when there are other means. Besides, I used a lot of magic today. Absorbing a mine full of pixie dust will take a lot out of you."

"Ruby said you were trying to kill us."

It hadn't been what she meant to say. She meant to say Henry said you saved us.

"Because a mangy waitress knows so much about magic." Regina said with some annoyance. She took the pills with the amber liquid she'd gotten from the other room. A part of Snow tisked, but she wasn't Regina's keeper. Still she had to admit Regina looked a tired. There was a suit jacket folded neatly over the back of one of the kitchen chairs, and she was still in the clothing she'd seen her in the woods. slacks and a bright blue silk blouse.

It was a good color on her. She didn't wear enough color.

Being tired did little for her legendary lack of patience. "What do you want, Snow?"

"I told you."

"You don't think I know when you are lying?"

"You stole everything from me."

"Not for the first time." Regina pointed out. "And now your family has stolen everything from me. Welcome to the world of being an absolute ruler, Snow. You get to take from your enemies."

"I'm not some sort of tyrant."

"Really? I seem to remember I ended up helpless in a jail cell left alone at Gold's mercy. And are we forgetting you and your husband taking my son? I'm sure you'll remember him in the morning when the bathroom in your little loft is always in use.

"He's Emma's son."

"No, actually, Emma gave him up. I raised him. He's my son." Regina set her glass down with enough force that Snow thought it might break. Regina moved towards her, stalking like a predator. A wounded predator she reminded herself.

And the anger welled up in her as well. How dare she. How dare she love him like that. Before Regina could reach her Snow moved quickly and pushed her body against the wall behind her. The air went out of Regina's lungs with a satisfying thud and there was fire in her eyes. But none in her hands. Perhaps she had used too much magic today.

With the skills of a person used to fighting with her hands Snow captured Regina's wrists and held them in an iron grip. "You ignored me for years... and then tried to kill me."

"Would you have preferred I tried to kill you when you were growing up in the palace?" Regina asked with a smirk. The old Regina that Snow remembered finally.

"You are a bitch, Regina." And she should have left. She should have given up this fool's errand like so many others with this woman.

"No more than you are, Snow. I'm just the only one who sees it."

Heat raised in her cheeks and anger in her belly. And what happened next is what she'd been wanting to do since she was seventeen years old. Her lips crashed into Regina's, forcing her way past and kissing her in the most possessive way possible.

When it finally broke, and they could both breath again Regina demanded, "What the hell are you doing?"

"Shut up, Regina." She was reasonably sure that even with how tired she was if Regina wanted to stop this she would. Snow pushed her knee between Regina's legs and against her crotch. "For once you are going to be the one who is a good girl. For once you are going to listen to me."

Snow had let go of her wrists and began unbuttoning her blouse. Regina was already breathing a bit faster, but Snow expected more protest. Some sort of reminder of who she was. But none came. Because this was who she was. And Regina had always known it.

She moved her hands over Regina's soft skin and up to the lace of her bra. With a vicious little smile she gave the nipple a pinch through the fabric. "Yes you are."

And the power rushed to her head as much as the sexual energy flowed. She loved David. She liked being in his strong gentle arms. But this was as much her as that was. This angry, fiery passion belonged here, not with him. "Now be a good girl, and help me take off your clothes."

Regina slipped out of her shirt as Snow began to unbutton her pants.

"Don't fool yourself Snow."

"That I've got you doing what I want?"

"That you are the one in control here."

"Oh, I know I am so far from control ..." She leaned in and actually bit the top of Regina's breast. "But neither are you."

"Don't count on it Snow."

"Really? We're going to play those kinds of games?" She pushed her hand down Regina's underwear and felt the wetness forming there. "I would think at best we're both gone a bit mad don't you think?" She ran two fingers along her clit and Regina rewarded her with a gasp.

"We were always mad." Regina replied.

Snow smiled and pushed the two fingers up into her without much ceremony or preparation. She hadn't needed it. Curling them a little. "Yes we were, my Queen. And tomorrow we'll both be sane again. And we'll pretend this didn't happen."

Snow smiled. "Except it did."


	2. Chapter 2

_Post 2.18_

David had gone off with the Dwarfs to the bean fields. Something about night time fertilizing that was going to keep him up till dawn. Snow knew she was supposed to be happy that her husband and her best friends were bonding, but part of her wasn't. The dwarfs were her friends. Not hers and David's.

"It sometimes feels like I don't have anything that's just mine anymore, Ruby." The diner was closed, but Ruby and Snow had stayed behind to gossip over tea. She'd declined alcohol, mostly because she'd had a few too many unwanted thoughts already that week and the last thing she wanted to happen was what happened the last time she had those thoughts.

She'd ended up straddling Regina in her living room looking down at her with her coming against her fingers. She had tried several times in the days that followed, when she thought Regina had killed Archie, to convince herself that the night had been a dream. A fantasy. Not the first sexual fantasy she'd ever had about Regina either. But she also knew it was not.

She had fucked Regina. And not in some quiet way. She wanted to blame her. In fact she had as she was cleaning herself up and leaving the mansion that evening. But Regina's knowing smirk and raised eyebrow said all that was needed to be said to that. Snow had gone to her. Snow had been the aggressor. Unless she'd been enchanted somehow, the sex was on her. And it wouldn't ever happen again.

Especially not after last week.

And she was quite a bit scared of the fact that, when she admitted it to herself, that was what she was most sad about.

Of course that wasn't something she was about to talk to Ruby about. No one would understand the driving obsession she really had for Regina. She'd covered it up with hate and judgment for years. But at least some of that judgment was aimed at herself. For feeling that way about someone so irredeemably evil.

And now she knew why she couldn't get Regina off her mind. And she knew exactly what to blame for that. These thoughts... they came from the murky darkness of her own soul. She had brought them on herself. They were part of her own self destruction. Regina had warned... no warned was the wrong word... Regina had reveled in the fact that Snow would destroy herself.

And Regina would be her destruction.

She had to make sure it would never happen again. She was resolving to go over to Regina's house again in the morning and try to have a rational conversation that didn't involve death threats or sex when she saw the light on in the mayor's office at city hall. And a new swelling of anger came up inside her.

She growled. Regina. Of course she'd ignore them. She wasn't the mayor anymore. She had no right to be there.

Snow didn't knock. Rather she marched straight in and slammed the door behind her. "What the hell do you think you are doing, Regina?"

Regina was wearing a suit-how was it that she was always dressed impeccably even sitting alone in the office late at night-sitting at the desk filling out paperwork.

"I'm doing town business. Go along home little hero. The grown up is trying to get things done."

"You are so far from a grown up it's not funny. A spoiled angry child. And you aren't the mayor anymore."

"So I was told, but then I got a call from the road maintenance department. It seems no one has bothered to sign off on their budget. Or pay them. In two months. You do realize we live in Maine and ploughs don't maintain themselves by magic. Even in a magic town."

"They should have called David and I..."

"Apparently they did. You two have been preoccupied, which I suppose I can understand, murder does take its toll. I understand." Her mocking tone just made Snow more on edge. "But I've put too much work into this town for it all to go down the drain because you and the shepherd don't know you have to order spare parts for snow removal equipment. And I'd rather not be hold up in my house next blizzard because you can't get the roads clear.

"This is really about snow ploughs?" Snow asked incredulously. Like the idea of the Evil Queen signing off on requisitions just seemed wrong to her.

"Welcome to the glories of public service." Regina raised an eyebrow. "Now you've gotten your daily dose of accosting me, you can leave now.

"What happened last time can't happen again." Snow blurted out what she was thinking since she saw Regina behind the desk.

Regina finally put her pen down and looked up. "Taking your heart? Why should it. Watching you destroy yourself is so much more fun."

"I can stop it. The darkness."

"Of course you can." She answered mockingly. "I bet you that all your hero worshipping friends told you that you could too. And then you all had a group hug facilitated by the bug."

"No, Archie was not involved. And David has faith in my ability to fight the darkness."

Regina smiled, getting up from her chair and walking over towards a sideboard with liquor. Snow saw that she poured two glasses of scotch, and didn't speak until she walked over and handed one to her. "How Charming. And do you think David knows much about the darkness?"

Snow sighed defeated by the truth. At least what she'd been thinking since she told David about the dark spot. "I think he has faith in me. You've always been able to see my darkness, known it was there longer than anyone. But it's not that I meant. I meant what happened between us. It can't happen again."

Regina actually laughed and took a sip from her own glass. "A bit presumptuous, don't you think Snow. You accused me of murder, gave me an ultimatum, abused my limited trust in you and murdered my mother. And you really think meaningless sex is going to happen again?"

"It wasn't meaningless." Snow managed, but she didn't know where that came from. "And I had to kill her. She was going to kill us all."

And Snow took a long drink from her own glass. The whiskey burned all the way down her throat. Regina hadn't cut it with anything.

Regina tilted her head. "It wasn't about the killing, Snow. It was about the murder. You know the difference."

"Yes, you murdered my father. He was never anything but a good husband to you."

Her former stepmother's eyes darkened. "Don't presume you know anything about my private affairs, Snow."

There was something in Regina's tone that sounded more sad and defeated than dangerous like she'd expected. Snow tilted her head and watched the other woman and some bit of knowledge... some bit that was Mary Margaret more than Snow White, snapped into place. Her eyes grew wide but she said nothing.

But she didn't need to say anything because Regina smelled weakness. She finished off her drink and set it down on her desk before approaching Snow. And Snow instinctively backed away. After several steps she felt the back of the long conference table against her legs. Regina put both her hands on the table either side of Snow essentially pinning her there.

"You came here for something. Do you have any idea what?"

"I came here to talk to you."

"Is that what you call it in your mind." Regina started slowly unbuttoning Snow's blouse. "Because you know I know you. Better than anyone else. Better than your prince."

She slipped her blouse off and in a minute her bra was undone as well. Both tossed carelessly to the side. Regina smiled and kissed down her neck and the top of her breasts. "I know the you you don't let others see."

Regina shoved a hand down Snow's pants, and a wicked smile crossed her face. "I know the you that is excited just to be in the room with me."

She pressed a finger against her clit, and smiled. "Now tell me Snow White, you don't want to have sex with me? Ever again?"

Snow's eyes stayed locked on Regina, but she couldn't answer. Wouldn't answer.

"That's not the way this is going to work Snow. You won't be able to play the victim with me. Answer."

"I want you more than anything right now," she answered breathlessly and truthfully.

Regina's smile was wide, and disturbing. "Good. Because I'm going to make sure you remember it."

She pushed her back with a strong hand to the chest and Snow felt her arms pulled up and magical ropes came from nowhere, tying her down to the table on her back.

"Much better." Regina said with a smile, now carefully removing her jacket and rolling up her shirt sleeves. "I would rather like to take my time and not play speed racer like you did the other night, My Princess."

The title was used with derision. Mocking sarcasm. With little effort Regina pulled off her jeans and panties, casually tossing them to the side with the rest of Snow's clothes before stepping back to admire her work. Regina walked over to her desk and picked up her glass again, finishing her drink and walking around the bound form of Snow White as if deciding exactly what to do."

"Regina..."

"Your Majesty." Regina said in a stern voice before approaching her again. She placed two fingers against her but didn't push them in yet. Instead she leaned down and bit one of her breasts. Snow let out a sharp yep, and Regina stood back up to admire her handy work.

"What are you doing?"

"Marking you."

"But David..."

"Well than I suppose David won't be seeing you naked again until my marks have faded."

Snow swallowed and realized exactly what it meant. Regina was making sure she couldn't get relief from her husband. She couldn't fuck him until she forgot her. Regina continued to bite and suck, leaving a number of unmistakable bruises, but all easily hidden by bra and shirt. Finally she smiled down at her and ran her fingers through her short hair. "Perfect. Now... to make sure you remember it for other reasons."

The Queen pushed her two fingers into her, curling the tips just a bit before pressing down on her clit with her thumb and beginning to rub. It wasn't taking much before Snow was breathing ragged. But not quite hard enough to climax fast. "More ..." She practically ordered.

"I told you what you'd have to say, Snow. You have to acknowledge who I am."

Snow closed her mouth, determined that she could hold out and Regina would give her what she needed. But that didn't last long, because she really needed it, and she needed it from her. "Please your majesty... please I'll be good."

Regina smiled as she moved her fingers harder and faster and Snow came against her. "No my dear, you'll be you."


	3. Chapter 3

_During the events of 2.19 and 2.20_

Regina sat on a bench watching Henry on a playground hundreds of feet away. This was the deal. Emma hadn't been quite as threatening as she had been, but she'd made it just as clear. Regina didn't have any rights to Henry and she could only see him when she said. And for now... she said no. She should have argued. Pointed out that she was his mother. That this wasn't the Enchanted Forest where the royal family had the right to take away everything from their enemies.

Except even she wasn't that big of a hypocrite. And it wouldn't matter anyway. No one in this town saw her as a human being, much less Henry's mother. And no amount of trying to be good for him would solve that.

"You know it's probably not good for him to have you lurking about watching from a distance. You scare away other children." The voice came from behind her, but she didn't need to turn to see.

"I'm not in the mood Snow."

"You are never in the mood."

"Oh, for you lately, the mood strikes me. But not on a park bench with my son in view."

There was a sigh, and Snow moved around to sit down next to her. "I thought we could talk like sane women if there wasn't a chance of it ending up... like the last time."

"Or the time before that?" Regina asked with an evil little smile. "Besides, I doubt either of us really qualifies as sane. From an objective point of view. I'll take mutual insanity if it means you admitting that you are having an affair with me."

"Regina..."

"Oh, are we going to pretend this is all my doing?" She laughed a bit bitterly. "Blaming me again, Snow? You know that's beneath you."

"You tied me to a table with magic."

"And you barged into my home and fucked me against a wall." Regina pointed out, now more than a little amused. "Whatever this is, you started it." Snow was quiet for a long time and Regina looked over at her, reading her old enemy's face. "And you have no real intention of stopping it. You need it too much. Need me too much."

"You get in my head."

"We've both been living in each other's head for a long time. I might be a mad woman, Snow, but at least I'm a self aware one. What is your excuse?"

"You are trying to destroy me."

Regina laughed at that.

"What's funny?"

"I told you, I'm going to let you do that to yourself. It just so happens you've chosen an interesting way to do it." She tilted her head. "Apparently your Prince doesn't satisfy you."

"Don't you talk about David."

Regina smiled wider, "Snow, when will you learn? You are mine. You were mine long before you were his. You have always been mine." She leaned in and whispered in her ear. "And now that I know what you really want I'm never going to let go."

Snow shivered at that. "What about Henry?"

"This thing we do? It doesn't have anything to do with Henry. If you try to use him to put me in my place, I swear to you I will tell Emma. Your daughter already hates me. It can't make that any worse."

"Regina..." Snow sighed, "You should try to be better. You were trying."

"And then my mother came along and proved just how pointless that was."

"Doing good isn't pointless. Being good isn't pointless."

"It is for me."

She got up from her seat and adjusted her trench coat before leaning over and whispering in Snow's ear. "Once the darkness comes for you there is no turning back."

As Regina walked away she knew Snow's eyes were following her. And she laughed.

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><p>Snow had been pacing the loft most of the night. She and David had had an argument. Well, not really an argument. They rarely fought like that. But he was making plans for the future. For returning home. Except she's seen the look on Emma's face and she was certain Emma didn't want to go. And frankly a large part of her didn't either. Unlike David she'd seen the ruins of the Enchanted Forest.<p>

But for David the only place he could really be Prince Charming, the dashing hero, was in that place. For some reason David Nolan, the coward, haunted him here no matter how hard he tried to bury him.

So they'd discussed Emma. But Snow kept thinking about Regina. About the conversation they'd had on the docks that morning. And about the one she'd had with David that evening. She couldn't picture Regina in a cage. A caged bird.

No. Regina was no bird. Like a beast or some predator on display, it's claws ripped out. And equally she couldn't leave her behind. Regina was as much herself as she was. She'd been a part of Snow since she was a girl. Since she'd had been growing into a woman watching the beautiful queen, with her dark eyes and fire. Her father used to talk about how beautiful her mother had been. Soft and perfect. Good and pure. There had been nothing pure about Regina. And while Snow had managed to look pure and good she felt the fire inside. She felt those things that she knew she wasn't supposed to. She wanted to be someone she wasn't supposed to. Or rather she wanted to be with someone she wasn't supposed to.

But she'd somehow managed not to act on those feelings. Feelings that despite years on the run and the sure knowledge that Regina wanted her dead... part of her still wanted the Queen. And she wouldn't simply let her go. And she wouldn't cage the beautiful beast. Even if it would lead to her own death. Or destruction.

Destruction seemed more likely given what had been happening.

She told David she was going for a walk. Of course she knew where she was going.

The key to Regina's house that she'd never replaced in the fake rock was heavy in her pocket. But much to her disappointment she saw when she got to Mifflin Street that Regina's Benz wasn't in the driveway.

It should be a sign. A chance to turn back.

_Hers._ The possessive anger in her eyes when she'd said it should have scared Snow. But what it had really done is make her heart flutter. It was the first time Regina had ever acknowledged what Snow had wanted for so long. And even if it was ugly and destructive and evil, she wasn't about to let that go.

She slipped the key into the lock and entered the house. She quietly hung he coat in the closet and set her purse on the side table. So normal. Not like she was breaking into someone's house and making herself at home. Except she was and Snow was nervous as she sat down on the couch and waited for the mistress of the house.

Regina came home almost an hour later, pausing in the hall when she presumably saw Mary Margaret's purse.

"I thought so." Snow could hear the smile in her voice. She didn't rush to come in, instead she heard Regina putting up her own coat. "Feeling guilty I take it?"

"For once I'm not guilty about the sex." Snow replied honestly.

"That's not what you have to feel guilty about."

Part of Snow's heart sank. Did she know? How could she?

Regina walked over to where she was sitting and pulled her upright, kissing her hard on the mouth. As their tongues intermingled even Snow had to admit that she wanted this desperately. She was starting to breath harder and as the kiss broke she scraped Regina's lips with her teeth trying to pull it back.

"I know what you want, Snow. And this time you are going to have to ask for it."

"What?"

"I want you to ask me to do to you what you want. I want you to admit that you want this as much as I do. That I am not, in fact, forcing you to do something you do not want. That this thing we do, this ugly, thing with all its wrongness is as much you. Even more you. Than it is me. If you want me to let you into my bed you have to admit that you want to be there."

"Regina..."

Regina's fingers trailed down her sweeter and pushed their way back up underneath, trailing along one of her breasts and circling the nipple, making it hard even through the fabric of her bra.

"You were saying?" Regina smiled almost sweetly.

"My Queen."

"Better." Regina smiled.

Part of Snow wanted to wipe that smile off Regina's face. To touch her. To fuck her like she'd never been fucked before. But a bigger part of her needed Regina tonight. Needed to know she'd never leave her. "Please take me to your bed."

She smiled, and leaned in very close but didn't kiss again. "And why would I want to do that? What could you possibly have to offer me?"

"Me."

Regina laughed. "I want you to remember this night the next time you get self righteous and come storming into my office expecting for me to bow to your goodness."

"There is nothing good about me." Snow breathed

"I know."

How they'd gotten upstairs while Regina methodically stripped Snow of her clothes she had no idea. But when Regina practically threw Snow onto the bed she was naked, and Regina proceeded with all the deliberation she had not taken with her, to take her own clothes off.

"Mustn't rumple the suit?" Snow asked, though she wasn't objecting to the show.

"Appearances are important." Once undressed she crawled onto the bed and smiled. "I see my marks haven't faded. Does he know why you wont have sex with him?"

"It's not that hard to avoid sex when you have three adults and Henry living in my loft."

The mention of Henry gave Regina a slight pause and Snow immediately regretted it.

"He's a pretty man. Charming. But so very dense. How do you put up with him talking."

"He's not stupid Regina."

"I didn't say that." She leaned down and kissed her hard again. Robbing her of breath, and Snow could feel one of Regina's knees pressing up against her crotch. Regina tilted her head looking down at her. "I need you too, Snow. This insanity... it's ours not just yours."

It was a strange admission in the middle of sexual domination. But for some reason it warmed Snow's heart. Regina needed her. And all he worries about David or Emma finding out about this, about everyone finding out about this, faded. Because Regina needed her.

Regina moved her hand down to press against Snow's clit, pinching just a bit to remind her that this was not gentle or nice or loving before she began to rub. And as she rubbed Regina looked down at her with eyes both full of fire and full of ice. "Snow you will never be free of me. No matter where you go or who you try and tell yourself you are."

As she rubbed, two fingers slipped into Snow's wetness. "Please, Your Majesty. I need you. I need you to punish me."

"Oh my dear... I'm never going to stop doing that."

And the smile on Regina's face as Snow got off against her hand sent a shiver down her spine.

She knew. Somehow, Regina knew.


	4. Chapter 4

_During the events of 3.01_

The damage to the Jolly Roger from the storm slowed them down. Hook said that it would be a few hours before landfall and it was best that they get some rest. At the very least it meant they wouldn't be at each other's throats. Which was bound to happen again. At least Snow and Regina. Though worse things may come out with the five of them together on this adventure. Snow was never sure if she could control herself around Regina anymore. The fist fight had only emphasized that.

Every time it happened, the madness, the sex, Snow would go into it telling herself that it would be the last time. That she would end it. That she wouldn't let Regina poison the most important thing in her life, her marriage. And every time she ended up against a wall, or on a table, or at least last time in her bed, and the love making wasn't romantic or gentle. Because there was nothing romantic or gentle about Snow and Regina. It was fiery and angry and dirty. And the angriest one of them wasn't, as much as Snow wanted it to be otherwise, wasn't Regina.

She washed her face in the basin of water when she heard the door to the cabin close.

"I promise, I wont do it again David. She just gets under my skin..."

Except when she turned around it wasn't her husband standing there, but Regina. Her hands deep in the pockets of her trench coat, looking at her with those big intense brown eyes.

"Regina..."

"Careful, Snow, I'm perfectly willing to punch you again." The Queen replied dryly, but didn't move towards her.

"David knows where I am."

Regina chuckled. "In case I want to kill you? Or are we supposed to be having passionate illicit sex?"

"He could come in at any time."

"The captain is keeping your prince occupied for me."

"You told Hook?" Snow asked alarmed.

"Of course not, he assumed I was going to torture you." Regina waved a hand dismissively.

"And he gave you privacy. That bodes well for this adventure."

"It's not an adventure Snow. It's a rescue. We're here to rescue Henry. It's not going to be some grand romantic story that will be written about in books." Regina approached her and for the first time Snow could see the weight the last twenty four hours had taken on her step-mother, enemy, lover. Whatever it was that they were. Her shoulders were slumped a bit. She was standing erect, as she always did, but there was a weight to her footfalls that wasn't normal. And the burn marks from the torture...

When she reached up to touch them absently, Regina's hand move quickly and grabbed her by the wrist.

"We wont be doing this Snow. This thing we do. I don't have the energy to waste on you right now."

"I was just..."

"That's what I came here to tell you. I wont have it. Not while Henry is in danger. Whatever goes on in your head. Whatever drives you to me. I wont have it distract me from what I need to do to save Henry. I need you to get it through that thick skull of yours that I wont be catering to your desire for ... whatever it is that happens between us."

Snow's brow ferruled, and she shook her head.

"Don't tell me you are having trouble comprehending basic English now Snow, I could tell you in Elvish but I'm reasonably sure you don't speak it."

"You are ending it?"

"I'm stopping it."

"But you can't end it." Snow said numbly.

Regina raised an eyebrow and smiled one of her entirely unreassuringly smiles. "I can't? And here I thought that's what I just did."

Regina couldn't be the one to end it. This twisted fucked up thing they did. It was Snow's to end. She was the hero. She was the one who was supposed to come to her senses and excise the poison from her life. This wasn't going to happen this way.

Snow grabbed her by the lapels of her trench coat and pulled her into a kiss. Long and passionate, and not one Regina seemed to object to until Snow found herself flying backwards and crashing into the wall of the cabin with a hard thud. Regina's arms out.

Magic. She'd pushed her away with magic.

"I told you I'm stopping it Snow. You don't get to force me to do anything. Not this. Not a cage. I'm not some trapped animal." There was cold fury in Regina's voice as she walked towards where Snow was pinned to the wall. "You always were a selfish, self righteous little bitch. I don't have time for you right now. Not for your games. Not for your pretending you are a victim. We're going to be absolutely clear. If you touch me again without my express permission I'll burn off your hand. Are we clear, Princess?"

"Yes..."

"Yes?"

"Yes, Regina."

"Whatever ideas you get on that island, keep them to yourself. I don't want to hear them. Nothing is going to get between me and my son. Not Peter Pan. Not Hook's desires. And certainly not yours."

And with that, the Queen turned and left and Snow sat in stunned silence.

* * *

><p>Regina shook her head as she left the cabin. She needed to keep a clear head. She couldn't think about the torture or the pain or the fact that she just wanted to sleep for a thousand years. She needed to focus on Henry. And cutting off Snow had been the first step in triaging her wounds. Snow was and old wound, bitter and festering and always demanding her attentions. She needed not to be thinking about her on this trip. Much less wondering if the stupid girl and her lack of self control was going to expose them while they trekked through the island with no cover and no privacy.<p>

She had no doubts that she could deal with the shepherd. He was quick to anger, and not unskilled with a sword, but he'd be dead before he wasted the energy charging at her with the letter opener of his. But the problem would be explaining it afterwards. Hello Regina, why did you kill Prince Charming? Oh because he was jealous when he found me fucking his wife.

She rather doubted that anyone in town, especially Henry when they found him, would be that understanding. And for some gods unknown reason she actually found herself caring what other people thought. When the hell did that happen?

She got to the rail of the boat and took a deep inhale of the sea air.

"I'd tell you that you should rest, but I can't either." The voice of Emma Swan was the last thing she wanted, but she said nothing as the blond came up beside her and leaned against the rail. "But it's worth remembering I didn't just get tortured. But I do know how much energy you had to have poured into that diamond. You were doing it a lot longer than I was and the Blue Fairy said..."

"Never believe a thing a fairy says to you, Miss. Swan. All those stories in Henry's book about how they help the good and the innocent and the weak are all propaganda."

"Like an evil queen who doesn't seem quite so evil anymore?"

"I was ruling a kingdom, Miss. Swan. It's actually a lot more complicated than your parents ever took into account."

"So what's your problem with fairies?"

They were having a conversation about everything but what was on both their minds. They both knew it Regina was sure. But she wasn't about to force reality on Emma, even if she'd just had to do it with Snow. "The first time I wished upon a star I was seven. My mother had broken my arm. The last time I was eighteen and desperate not to marry a man three times my age while I was still mourning the love of my life. I doubt I'll ever know why I wasn't worthy of their help. Maybe I was already a villain in the book the night before my wedding... but I just can't accept that I was when I was younger than Henry. Evil isn't born, it's made."

Emma was silent, but something about her strong reassuring presence made Regina think she was agreeing with her. It was a long time until she spoke. "A couple years ago I would have told you I didn't believe in good and evil. That life wasn't that simple."

"I'm not the one to ask, Miss. Swan. I've apparently only just come to the realization that I'm the bad guy in the story."

"Emma. If we're going to save our son, you can call me Emma. And you aren't the bad guy of this story. Whatever is in that fucking book. In this story you just tried to sacrifice yourself for thousands of people. I may not be as into heroes as Henry is, but I'm damn sure I have never done anything that heroic. If I get to wear the label so do you."

"Don't wear a label Emma. You'll end up living up to it." She paused. "Or down."

"I take it you didn't come up with the name the Evil Queen?"

Regina smiled and turned to look at her, "I have a sense of the dramatic, trust me, but no. I have no idea who came up with that. Probably some supporter of Snow or her father. Peasants do that. Come up with their own versions of what happens in the castles. It helped them explain the ups and downs of their lives."

"Peasants? Did you really just refer to people as peasants?" Emma asked amused.

"That's what they were Emma. Your parents and I, we don't come from some Monty Python skit. Besides, who do you think the people who work in the Storybrooke grocery store were? Heroes I condemned to life stocking tampons?"

"That would have been a pretty good revenge on your enemies. I would have done that."

Regina chuckled. "Maybe you aren't an insufferable Charming after all."

"And maybe you aren't all evil if you can make a Monty Python reference."

"Maybe I'm not."


	5. Chapter 5

_Post 3.05_

It wasn't a drunken party. Even Regina would acknowledge that. For one thing there wasn't enough rum among the five of them to get anyone drunk. But still there was just about nothing in the celebrations after the pirate and David's return that Regina wanted to sit through. Not Snow's insufferable clinging to her husband. Not the expectant look on Hook's face towards Emma for his reward for allegedly saving David's life. Something Regina was certain didn't happen the way the two men claimed. Emma wasn't even her friend, much less her daughter, and she'd have turned Hook into a toad for the presumption alone.

Besides, she needed some time to herself.

They'd seen Henry, if only for a few minutes, and her heart was able to beat again. For the first time since she'd seen him be dragged through the portal she felt like maybe they'd get him back. The last thing she needed was her own dark mood ruining that little bit of hope.

So she'd made her excuses and told the others that they needed more fresh water. She'd insisted before anyone drank the water on the island that they let her at least filter it and remove any traces of the place's magic. There was something wild, untamed, neither good nor bad, but unpredictable about the magic of this place. And she didn't want them surprised because of something they'd stupidly eaten or drank.

She hated surprises. She found them threatening. She was sitting by a stream, filtering the water through cheese cloth from the _Jolly Roger_ and letting the magic drift from her fingers through the drip before entering the container.

"I don't think you knew it, but when I was a teenager I would sneak into your study and watch you do magic. Cora too when I was much younger."

"That was probably a good way to get dead." Regina responded casually without looking up. She couldn't very well tell Snow to leave her alone. They were all on this family camping trip from hell together. It vaguely reminded her of one of the King's interminable tours of the kingdom where he learned little but lots of people saw him wear his crown.

"I knew the castle better than either of you."

She didn't approach to closely, but stayed standing, her arms crossed. "I know I can't tell you to leave me alone. You've got your claws into me and my darkness, but do you really have to drag Emma down too?"

It was phrased like a question, but the accusation was clear. "I'm not doing anything to Emma."

"Regina, I've known you nearly all of my life. I've seen you seduce people. All those quiet conversations, the intense stares, standing much closer to each other than someone does in normal conversation... talking about making magic together..."

"We have Henry. If either of us wants to have him again we have to stop fighting." She sighed and put aside the water bottle she was working on. "And in case you didn't remember it there was this giant magic sucking diamond and lightening coming out of both our hands. Your daughter and I combined our magic to save everyone? Not everything is sexual, Snow."

Regina tilted her head to the side. "Except that's it isn't it?" It was the first real laugh Regina'd managed in days. Weeks maybe. "I'd say jealousy doesn't suit you Snow, but it very much does. Perhaps I should investigate that avenue. Like mother like daughter."

Snow balled her firsts, "If you lay a finger on her I will kill you."

"Snow, it never ceases to amaze me your capacity for blaming me for your own actions."

"You did this to me. Made me think these perverted things about you."

Regina looked at her with sad eyes. "I wish I had, Snow. Then maybe I could grant you some peace." She gave her a little smile. "I'm sure if we get out of all of this we can both fall back into our comfortable anger at each other. But I just can't manage it now. I know I'm the villain of the story. There is nothing I can do to change that now. But I have to save him. Everything else has to wait. Even hurting you."

The last came out strange even to Regina's ears, and seemed to hit Snow like a ton of bricks. The princess moved to sit on a rock not far from Regina but said nothing, so the queen picked up the water containers and resumed her work.

"The magic... what's it like. I'm afraid for Emma, and I don't even know what I'm talking about."

It almost felt like the first real question Snow had asked her in years. Decades? Before the curse at least. Maybe since the hilltop. _Haven't we both suffered enough?_ "I'm not sure I could describe it. It's like trying to describe color to a blind person. The magic is... all around us. It's like swimming in an ocean, where you can feel the currents and the shifts of energy."

"I knew a mermaid once who told me something like that about the ocean."

"Yes, well, she wasn't that bright, but the ocean was elemental to her."

Snow rolled her eyes. "And for Emma? Can she just... I don't know pretend she doesn't have it?"

Regina laughed. "I tried. I tried for so very long. If you lock it away, it's like denying a part of yourself, it will just express itself later in completely unhealthy ways."

Snow smiled. "Like spending ten years pretending you weren't a simmering pot of anger?"

"I wouldn't recommend that either." Regina said dryly.

"I don't want to feel angry all the time. I'm not supposed to. I'm ..."

"Snow White, the pure and happy noble hero."

"Fuck Regina, even I think that's too saccharine."

"Snow White knows how to curse." Regina said with a little smile.

"And you are still a bitch."

"Careful Snow, I can still wash your mouth out." Regina sighed and shook her head. "I can't tell you how to stop being angry. I've run on anger for so long I don't think there is anything of me left besides anger."

Snow tilted her head as if debating something in her mind. Or perhaps just staring at her like she used to do in court. Regina was sure when she was a young queen the princess used to watch her closely and try to mimic everything she did. Snow even became a half decent rider to impress her, Regina was certain, given how little love Snow actually had for horses.

"You shouldn't have taken the boy's heart Regina."

"I'll return it if we run into him again."

"Not what I mean."

"One big happy family, that's why I'm here."

"You said."

"It's true."

"It shouldn't be. You shouldn't have to take the darkness on for us."

"It's what I can do."

"You can do so much more."

"Oh, have we changed tactics now? From pleading to accusing to appealing to my non-existent better nature."

"I've always believed in your better nature."

"Don't lie, Snow, it doesn't suit you."

"You are right. I lost faith that I'd ever see my friend again. But maybe I was wrong."

Regina finished what she was doing with the water bottles and shook her head as she was standing up. "I'm not going to be one of your pity projects Snow."

"Good, because I don't pity you." Snow stood up at the same time, and took Regina's hand. Regina looked down at it trying to decide if she was going to light the princess on fire. She had threatened that last time. "You shouldn't have taken the boy's heart because we shouldn't ask you to do things we wouldn't do."

"You didn't ask."

"I didn't ask a lot of things I should have. Like I should have asked permission for this the first time, my queen." She leaned in and kissed Regina on the lips, this time softly and without the hunger and possession she had in the past. Regina broke the kiss, but not immediately and Snow tried to suck on her bottom lip a little longer.

"You are married, Snow. And I have a son..."

"And we'll find Henry. I was... I was mad at you because I wanted to be the one in control. I didn't expect you to end it."

"I didn't end it, I stopped it." She looked around, "Does this really look like the place to continue an illicit affair?"

"No I suppose not."

"Especially not with a smug teenager trying to get in our heads and expose our secrets."

"Especially true."

Regina reached up and ran her fingers through Snow's short cropped hair with gentleness she hadn't even known she was capable of anymore. Especially not with Snow. "You have a prince to go back to."

"And I have a queen in my arms."

"You'll have to let me go eventually."

"I haven't let you go since I was 10."

"And you are so much the better for it." Regina observed dryly.

"I am. I wouldn't trade my life for anything in the world."

"Even a happy ending?"

"You are part of my happy ending, Regina. I'm sure of that."

"And if you aren't part of mine?"

"I'll just have to find some way to change your mind on that subject."

And they were kissing again, this time without the self conscious gentleness of the first.

But finally they disentangled themselves and Snow helped Regina carry some of the bottles of clear, and magically clean, water back to the camp. Emma looked like she was trying to look at anyone but Hook, and David and Hook kept exchanging glances with each other that made Regina wondering if Snow was not the only one having an illicit affair in the Charming household.

She'd have to talk to Snow about magical protection given whatever Hook might be carrying around.

"You two look surprisingly content." Emma said, eyeing them, "And alive."

"We weren't attacked while we got water." Regina dismissed.

"I mean you didn't kill each other."

"Come now, Emma. We are adults."

"Sometimes."

Regina rolled her eyes and Snow spoke up for the first time, "Emma, I think perhaps it would be best if you let Regina teach you how to control some of your magic."

"You do?" Both Regina and Emma looked at Snow as if she'd just announced her plan to abdicate the throne and become a professional rapper.

"You have it in you, you should learn how to use it." Snow nodded, as if the idea had just occurred to her. "And Regina may be a pain in the ass some time, but I remember her as a very good teacher."

"Of magic," Charming asked clearly alarmed that his wife hadn't talked to him about this first. "Not of magic, but she taught me a lot of things. Including how to ride a horse a lot better than you."

She teased her husband with a smirk, but gave a side long glance at Regina. "I trust her with this. And so should you."


	6. Chapter 6

_Post 3.13 Flashbacks, Missing Year_

The Winter Palace was always dark and brooding. Snow never noticed it when she was a child, but looking back on it her mother had always hated the place. Her father thought the summer palace too homely, and he liked the view of the mountains and the lake better. There wasn't much of either of her parents there anymore she thought as she walked through the halls quickly. Regina. It was like the castle had been built for Regina despite its architect being one of Snow's distant ancestors.

She could hear Charming's footsteps behind her, but she was moving faster. She knew this castle better than anyone. Everyone else was milling around the great hall waiting for them to find the Queen. That's what they told everyone, because disclosing the note seemed to Snow a violation and David had agreed. She turned a hall into what she remembered as the Queen's chambers to see torches lit and Robin Hood standing nervously outside. Did Regina never move into the grand king's chambers after her father's death?

"Is she awake...?"

Snow demanded, less in her normal polite questioning voice but instead in the commanding voice of a princess she rarely used.

"She's fine m'lady. Or as fine as I think she likely ever is." He didn't mention the sleeping curse, "We encountered the Wicked Witch and the Queen insists on working on some sort of new protection spell for the castle."

"And you left her alone?"

"She rather insisted."

"I'm sure she did..." Snow growled and David actually tried to grab her arm to hold her back, "Don't push it Snow."

"The hell I'm not going to push it." She had Regina's note crumpled up in her hand as she pushed through the doors. The men, wisely, stayed in the hall. "What the hell did you think you were doing?"

Regina was in the great feathered dress that made her look like a vulture, "Not now Snow... I need to finish this."

"You need to explain this."

She was about to slam the note down on the table but looking at the complicated apparatus that Regina was working with Snow thought better.

"If you don't want my bastard sister to kill us all in our sleep, you'll let me do this now and yell at me later."

Snow blinked. "Sister?"

"So she says."

"But isn't the Wicked Witch green?"

"Very. Completely unflattering shade too, I don't know how she manages lipstick."

"Regina."

"Do I look like I have all the answers, Snow. Just let me deal with keeping her out."

Snow sighed, "Alright, but this... this isn't over." She waved the note again.

Regina looked up from where she was leaning over and caught Snow looking at her, not in the eyes, and smiled. Probably for the first time in days. "I'm sure it's not. Now go and make sure your friends don't decide spread straw on the flour and use our castle as a stable."

Snow shook her head, but was just relieved that Regina was alive. The thank you note had terrified her in ways she couldn't even explain to David, but he seemed at least willing to tolerate and not ask too deeply about.

Snow set about organizing the castle, directing people to various wings where she knew there were living quarters, and asking Granny if she wouldn't mind managing keeping people fed. She didn't have the heart to call them servants. But she supposed she would soon. This was after all home again, and they all had roles to play.

Grumpy and Happy were starting to take the Queen's banners down from the posts in the court yard, "No, stop." They were in mid-motion where they were. In fact just about everyone in the court yard stopped what they were doing and Snow realized she might have been a bit loud. "Those are Regina's Pennants."

"Yes, sister..." Grumpy said as if that was obvious.

"This is her castle. We're not replacing her."

Grumpy raised an eyebrow. "They stay." Snow said firmly and looked around at the people around her, most of them her closest friends. "Regina is family now. We're ruling together. The three of us. And I expect everyone to treat her with the respect of the Queen."

There was a bit of grumbling. "And if I hear anyone utter the word evil before that title, they will have more than a wicked witch to answer to. Am I clear?"

She was using what she thought of as her stern teacher voice, but it seemed to get the message across, both to the Storybrooke folk and to Robin Hood's men who had attached themselves to the party.

* * *

><p>Regina spent hours in the room before going out to the court yard and casting a new protection spell. It was almost morning when she came down to relight the fire of the protection spell. A ball forming in her hand she placed her hand into the caldron and the light burst forth forming a new bubble around the castle. She smiled and looked pleased with her work without noticing there was anyone else there beyond a few merry men who had decided to take up guard until the spell was up.<p>

"Now we can talk about this."

Snow's voice was firm as she came out of the shadows, and the merry men seemed to know when to disappear. Royals fighting was never something to be near, especially when one of them was a famous bandit and the other an evil queen.

"There isn't anything to talk about."

"Of course there is. You were going to kill yourself."

"No... I was ... going to curse myself." Both Snow's eyebrows came up and she grabbed hold of Regina's hand and guided her down the path towards where her apple tree had apparently reappeared where it belonged.

"A sleeping curse, so, what, Henry could wake you up? Or so that you could see him?"

Regina didn't answer. "You don't want to spend your eternity in fire, Regina."

"I'm the villain of the story, Snow. I'll end badly either way. And if I could see him..."

"He'd be horrified." Snow answered. She pulled her close and whispered in her ear. "Don't think you are escaping me that easily either. I have no intention of letting you go."

What had been a reassuring tone when it was possible others would over hear, turned into something else once Snow knew they were too far from the nearest ear. After all she knew this castle well and it's grounds. And where secrets could be told. There was a reason this was the queen's garden.

She released Regina from the hug. "You were doing such a good job of being a good girl, Regina." Snow felt the fire in her eyes, but instead of the anger that had possessed her back in Storybrooke there was possession now. The Queen was hers.

She pushed her into the shadows and pulled a hand up to hers to kiss.

"I can taste the magic on them."

"Careful, that could be residue of potion," Regina warned amused.

"You are going to be the Queen, and we're going to rule together."

"What about Charming."

"Charming makes a lovely chiseled jaw but he'll do what we want if we present a united front."

"And you don't think he'll figure it out?"

"This is a big castle, Regina. You hid the most amazing things from my father in these walls."

"I'm not your possession Snow."

"Of course not, we're each others. As we've always been." She smiled, "Though I will have to remember how to get past all of this armor again." Snow's hands slipped behind her divided skirts and rested on Regina's leather clad ass.

"That's assuming you ever knew how to find a way past my armor."

"I was a bandit, remember?"

She pulled at a draw string and loosened just enough to slip her hand down the front of the riding pants.

"Time and place?" Regina asked amused.

"Bandit's take what they want when they want it, my queen. That's why they're called bandits." Snow pressed two fingers against her. "Now, you aren't going to try anything like that again are you?" She actually gave Regina's clit a small pinch and was rewarded with Regina's entire body jumping a bit.

"Snow..."

"No Regina. You are not going to scare me like that again."

She pushed Regina so that the queen was leaning against a low stone wall and Snow could get a better angle as she moved her fingers past her clit and curled them up. Regina let a long grown.

"I'll take that as a yes for now." Snow gave her best attempt at an evil smile and began rubbing against her clit with her thumb, moving her fingers in and out just a little. It didn't take much after all. Size only mattered to men who didn't know how to use it. Snow smiled as Regina got off against her hand, "You are such a good Queen."

Regina smiled just a little sarcastically, but it was a weak effort and she leaned in to kiss her, it might have been hard and possessive had she had more energy. "I'm so tired."

"You've been through a lot this week." Snow remarked as she removed her hand and straightened Regina up.

"And I have to face those people tomorrow." She nodded up to the castle. "I'm not sure I could put up with dwarf whistling."

"They don't do quite as much of that as you might think. And besides, we all saw you save us all from Pan's Curse."

"I undid what I brought down on us Snow. That was not a heroic act."

Snow smiled, and felt like she was channeling Henry. "It was. You sacrificed for us all, and that makes you a hero. A twisted, bent and warped hero, but you've always been that to me."

"You are insane."

"You did call me a mad woman."

"I called myself mad, and asked what your excuse was."

"My excuse is that I'm in love with you Regina."

Regina froze, and released herself from Snow's grip. "You don't mean that. And neither of us has had enough sleep in the last few days."

Snow could see the walls go up higher than ever and she immediately regretted saying it. "Regina..."

"What are the sleeping arrangements?"

"What? You and Charming have taken over my castle."

"Our castle, Regina. We're not kicking you out of wherever you want to be."

"Then I will keep my old chambers." The Queen pronounced.

"Why did you never move into my father's?"

"I didn't like the view." Regina said sharply, and Snow realized she'd said yet another thing wrong tonight.

"I expect you at lunch tomorrow Regina. Not breakfast. You need the sleep."

"So do you."

"You aren't super human Regina. There is only so long you can stand before you fall."

"I have no intention of falling into your arms, Snow."

Snow smiled. "Perhaps no, but if you fall flat on your face in the great hall I will not be able to stop people from laughing."

Regina growled, but that just made Snow smile.

"You haven't won."

"Of course not." Snow smiled some more. The Queen started to walk back up the path out of the gardens, and Snow chased after a moment. "Regina..."

The queen turned imperiously. "What?"

"You don't have to say it back."

Regina watched her for a long moment before seeming satisfied and turned again to find her bed. And sleep for a week Snow guessed.

She made her way to the rooms she and David had picked out, also not her father's old rooms. He watched his wife as she started to undress.

"Regina?"

"Henry. She's thinking about Henry. Give her time and I think she'll find a way to be fine."

"Yes, but it's exactly what that way is that worries me."

Snow shook her head, "You have nothing to worry about on that account."

She smiled and crawled under the heavy blankets with him and slept for the first time in her own home.


	7. Chapter 7

_Missing Year_

They weren't living under siege. Yes there was the constant threat of the Wicked Witch, but Snow and David had lived under the constant threat of an evil sorceress before without letting her control their lives. Even if she now was sleeping down the hallway from them. And Snow couldn't stop thinking about her.

Perhaps she did dominate their lives. But the Wicked Witch was different. She wasn't in love with the Wicked Witch after all.

The kingdom fell back into a routine quicker than Snow expected. Many of the commoners were eager to get their lives going. Farmers had crops to plant. Merchants had businesses to reestablish. But the truth, Snow was starting to realize, was that almost no one was happy to be back. It was home, but it was not anymore. None of them had quite appreciated Storybrooke as much until it and its technology and medicine and indoor plumbing and central heating was gone.

Gone for good.

There were even some grumbling against David. After all the Prince had wanted to return, and of all the people he seemed to be dropping back into his role with energy and joy. Snow wondered if, for the first time in Regina's life, the people sympathized with the Queen. Her sadness was unquestioned, and so many people had seen what she'd done at the town line...

No one forgot the Evil Queen, but people were starting to see Regina, and privately Snow took joy in that. Even if she'd never dream of making Regina pay this price for the public redemption.

Snow was up early today, David had gone on a scouting mission and would be away for days surveying the kingdom. She'd grabbed a light breakfast, and started to plan her day when she casually asked where the Queen was.

"The stables. She said she was going riding, Your Highness."

Snow frowned a bit, and made her own way after changing and picking up her bow. Regina was still there when Snow approached. She was wearing the black and red riding outfit she'd once favored so. It showed off the curves of her body so well and the corset...

... Snow was going to have to remember that she hated corsets if she kept staring at the queen's chest. "The last time I saw you wearing that I nearly killed you."

Regina looked over at her standing in the stable door and even smiled. "Could that begin any number of conversations between us?"

"Rumplestiltskin gave me Robin Hood's bow. It never misses. I lay in wait for you along a roadside."

Regina laughed. "Well that explains the thief's reputation as an archer. He cheated. Did Rumple tell you that the fact that the bow never missed would mean it would hit me." She was amused and Snow looked confused. "Catching arrows is an old sorcerer's trick. It has a wonderful psychological effect."

Snow approached her slowly, and kissed her. It might have been chased to anyone who observed it. Perfectly healthy. Except her hand slipping behind Regina to squeeze her ass ruined that effect. Regina laughed. "I see you are excited today. Careful princess. Times and places. Besides I'm riding today."

"I see. You do know there is a witch who wants you dead."

"I do, but I'm not going to let my sister keep me locked away like some sort of prisoner in my own castle."

"Ours."

"Yes, my dear. Our castle." Regina seemed to be in a much better mood. Perhaps it was the horses. Some of Snow's happiest memories of Regina were around horses. The big chestnut mount Regina had been saddling leaned it's head into her and nuzzled her. And she laughed, "Yes I know we're going, Aligeramiento."

"I'm coming with you."

"You're not. I'd like to ride faster than a canter."

"You know I became a much better rider than I was when I was 10."

"You did. But you still not as good as I am." The Queen answered pridefully.

"True but how long has it been since you were on a horse."

Regina paused, and sighed. "I don't need a babysitter, Snow. Or a body guard."

"Than just take my company Regina. It's possible we can even be friends... have conversations... that don't necessarily end up with one or the other of us with our fingers inside the other."

"You are becoming bold, Snow. It's dangerous." Regina warned.

"I'm not afraid of you."

"You are married and castle's are not private spaces. I should stop this if for no other reason than to protect you from yourself."

"And why would you want to protect me Regina?"

The one sided admission of Snow's love for Regina hung between them. _You don't have to say it_, Snow had told her. It had been a lie of course. Snow desperately needed to hear those words. Even if they were in the form of other actions.

"Get your horse saddled Snow, I'm not waiting for you."

Regina climbed her own mount and road out of the stable looking imperious as ever.

* * *

><p>Regina had not been lying when she said she wanted to ride fast. She picked a very difficult trail, one Snow's own riding instructors had never allowed her to take, and road it at quite the gallop. Snow could barely keep up and she wondered if Regina was trying to prove a point to her.<p>

There were things Regina would always do better than Snow.

Or perhaps she just needed the ride, because when Snow did catch up to her on an overlook with a striking view of the castle and the lake Regina looked truly happy for the first time since Storybrooke. She looked, for a moment, 20 years old again.

And free.

The Queen dismounted, reaching into her pack for a bundle of cloth that Snow recognized was a light meal packed for traveling. Some bread, cheese... and of course because it was Regina... she offered her an apple.

"There are ironies that I think are too much even for me," Snow declined with a wry smile.

"Suit yourself."

Regina tied her horse's reigns to a tree and spread a blanket.

"You've been here before," Snow said as she did the same.

"It was the place I went when I wanted to kill everyone... and was still fighting those urges."

"Like today."

"Today might have similarities."

Snow sat down beside Regina and they watched the valley in silence for a time.

"I wont have you destroy yourself because I seduced you." Regina said finally.

"I think that was actually me... in the kitchen back on Mifflin Street."

Regina shook her head. Something about her refused to allow herself to believe this had been Snow's idea. Snow wondered back to the early days of the affair when Regina had been determined to make sure Snow remembered precisely that.

"Charming would react badly."

"David would be heartbroken," Snow agreed. "And that's why we're not going to tell him."

"Because you would never leave your husband for me. Because you are not an idiot."

"I'm not? Regina... was that actually a compliment?"

"Shut up."

Snow reached over and put her hand on Regina's and they sat in silence again. Whatever thoughts were in going through the Queen's mind she wasn't interested in sharing. At least until Regina turned and looked at her with her head cocked to the side.

"You want to be with me... and stay with Charming."

Snow looked vaguely guilty. "I know it's selfish."

"Incredibly." Regina said with a chuckle.

"I... would lose everything if people knew. You know that."

Something dark passed Regina's eyes. "And what if I don't like sharing."

Snow remembered, just at that moment, exactly how possessive Regina could be. And jealous apparently. The queen smiled at her and pushed her to the ground. Regina straddled her and pushed her down onto the blanket. "You do know that I don't even have to touch you to make sure your mine."

She snapped her fingers and a bit of flame sparked between them.

She leaned down and whispered in Snow's ear. "I could, if the mood struck me, drive you to distraction while sitting across the room from you. Perhaps in one of those council sessions when David is trying to prove he's a prince and not a shepherd?"

"Regina..."

Snow always knew that she could turn on a dime. Go from thoughtful and gentle to ... something else in a moment. The woman she was looking up at now was neither of those things. "It would be fun. Watching you try to pretend that there is not a magical dildo pleasuring you. Trying not to shift at my every whim."

She smiled and stroked her cheek.

Snow felt herself go a bit white. Fear of her lover was never that far from the surface it seemed. "Regina..."

"You are not in control of this arrangement, Snow." Regina leaned down and kissed her, hard, with passion but also with possession. When Snow attempted to return it her own efforts were overwhelmed.

"Yes my Queen."

"We're not telling David because I say we're not telling him." Regina growled. "And you will learn some self discipline. Watching Snow White keep a secret... that will be good for me. If not for your soul. But you could use a little more darkness dear."

Regina stroked the back of her finger along her cheek and Snow inhaled.

"Each time you sleep with him. Each time he touches you. You'll remember me. And for once in your life you'll learn to keep something to yourself."

Regina's fingers had found their way past Snow's divided riding skirts, and past other layers. She was stroking her clit absently. Petting her intimately and Snow couldn't concentrate for a moment.

"Struck dumb?"

"No... yes.. I'm sorry. I understand Regina."

Regina patted her cheek with her free hand and smiled.


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: Missing Year, beginning roughly around the time of 3.14's flashbacks._

* * *

><p>The candles were burned low and they were supposed to be working. Regina's study was full of books and maps, several laid out across a long wooden table, as she was teaching Snow about tax yields and infrastructure in the kingdom. They'd absorbed what had once been George's and Regina didn't know those figures from memory and needed references, but for her own she had a remarkable gift for detail.<p>

Snow was reminded what a beautiful mind the Queen had, and wondered not for the first time what would have happened had her father recognized that. Certainly not this.

She was currently pinned against a book shelf, her corset unlaced and Regina's mouth sucking on one of her breasts, alternately flicking the nipple with her tongue and kneading it with her lips. She raced along the other with her free hand making the nipple hard.

Snow's had lost all ability to concentrate long ago and she didn't want to stop her because she knew what would come next would be... less pleasant. David would be back from patrol already, but the doors were locked and they wouldn't be interrupted. But it was time to tell her.

She would tell him tomorrow morning and there would be no hiding it. She'd have to know first. Snow didn't want to think about what her reaction would be if she learned it around the council table.

The Queen did not share. Which of course made this arrangement difficult, but until now Snow had been sure to placate Regina's need for control. And her own need for the Queen that sometimes overrode her own good sense. Like this entire affair had.

But now was the time to put away childish things. But a kiss before she told her had turned into this and she needed this. She needed her one last time before the end.

Because it would be the end. It had to be.

Regina was lifting her towards the table and Snow decided she couldn't risk it. They were bruising each other quite a bit lately, an advantage of the clothing of this realm that it was easier to cover. But not now.

"Regina, we can't."

"Of course we can my dear."

"No... I ... I need you to stop."

Regina put her down, looking slightly confused but not forcing the issue. They both may have been mad, but they were never that kind of mad.

Regina stroked her cheek gently. "What's wrong Snow?"

"I ..."

"Is it that idiot husband of yours? You know I could ..."

"I'm pregnant."

Regina looked stunned, but actually smiled, "I thought you were glowing. It's good to know that David is living up to his primary duty."

Giving Snow an heir. Another one.

"We've been trying." Snow agreed. "I ... I think it's time I think of my marriage Regina."

Snow could see the darkness pass over her lover's eyes. She remembered her own feelings back on the Jolly Roger when Regina had been the one to end it. She'd always pictured it would end this way though. With her choosing the good of her family.

"What happened to we'll rule together?"

"We will. Just... not like this."

"You said you needed me..."

"I... want you. But I need him."

"Do you love him?"

Snow looked away, "Don't make me answer that, Regina."

"Do you lie about that kind of thing?"

It was a question with an obvious implication. She had told her that she loved her.

"David can give me a family."

"You are mine."

"I'm his too."

"I do not share, princess."

"I know. That's why... this has to be the last time."

She saw the rejection play across Regina's face and wished she could take it all back.

"Get out."

"Regina."

A mirror shattered twenty feet from them but Regina didn't seem to notice.

"Go on and crawl back into his bed."

"Regina."

"I will see you in council tomorrow."

Regina did flick a hand and they were both respectably dressed again. As if the encounter hadn't happened at all. As if none of the encounters happened before.

She told David about the baby the next day. He was excited, at least he said, but he'd seen him take to drinking. Regina had retreated to her most prickly self, directing more than a few barbs sharply in Snow's direction. Though never about the pregnancy specifically. Everyone else assumed it was the pain that the Queen was always in. The pain she had come back to the Enchanted Forest carrying like a shield.

Except Snow knew otherwise and each time she saw that pain she felt responsible for it.

And then angry at that response. Because she would have been angry about it. Regina Mills had no use for pity. Either in herself or for her.

It was weeks until David left the castle again. After the business with the foreign princess Snow had never gotten a straight answer about. But it was time for a patrol, or rather he was going stir crazy, and the Wicked Witch's monkeys needed hunting. Even if they were cursed they were a danger to travelers.

Snow moved through the castle quietly in her night gown and soft indoor boots. The winter castle was not as cold as the summer palace would have been, but it was still stone and open spaces. She slipped down passages that no one except her... and probably Regina she added to herself... knew. It was how she would slip Regina's rooms to watch her do magic when she was a child.

A way around the guards and the locks on her doors when she was a child.

Things she now tried not to think about.

It was cold and there were several thick blankets on Regina's bed, she pulled one to the side and slipped in next to her, sure the Queen was asleep.

"You have a bed, Snow."

"It's empty."

"It would be given you aren't in it."

"I need you."

"You told me otherwise."

"I... was wrong."

The Queen turned over and her long dark hair feel at her shoulders in a way that reminded Snow of a much younger woman.

"You lied."

"I... I wanted it to be true. Does that count?"

"No. Get out."

"Please Regina... You still look at me the way you did before."

"With hate in my eyes?"

"Like I'm a woman."

"What are you talking about?"

"He won't touch me."

Snow saw the anger in her eyes, and loved her for it. She loved the hate and fire and passion in her eyes that was never in David's. David adored her, loved her even, but the power of what Regina felt...

"You can't be serious."

"He treats me like a glass bird. Not a woman anymore. He... did this the first time too."

She blushed at revealing the secrets of her marriage bed to her lover. Ex lover. Maybe.

Regina gave a bitter but amused laugh. "And you thought history would not repeat itself?"

"I just want to feel."

Under the blankets Snow could feel a soft hand move to her belly. "He's a fool if he does not see a woman."

"He's many things. That might be one of them."

"You lied to me."

"I wanted it to be true."

"You told me you loved me."

"I do."

"You need him more than you need me. That's not love."

"I need you more than air." Snow replied breathlessly as Regina moved in to kiss her on the mouth. The Queen's hands were not as they had been before. She was gentle. Soft. But still possessive. The warmth of her skin against Regina's made her shiver. Or that was the cold night. But she wanted to think it was the other woman.

"We are beyond endings, Snow, you and I. I do not share well."

"I've noticed."

"You do not get to leave me."

"You left me first."

"I didn't say that the reverse was true, Princess. I am the Queen."

Snow was about to object but she felt Regina's hand trail down her inner thigh. "He's really not been touching you."

"Not since the morning after we last ..."

Regina shook her head again. "And you want me to touch you so you can go back to your prince."

"I want you to touch me and be my Queen."

"You ended that."

"I was wrong."

"Your punishment will have to wait 9 months Snow, but know there will be punishment for this. I have a long memory."

Snow smiled. "And you hold grudges."

"I do."

Regina wasn't smiling, and that sent a shiver down Snow's spine. She had forgotten how jealous and possessive Regina could be. But she'd never been the queen's object quite like this before so perhaps she never knew.

Regina disappeared under the blankets and Snow wondered what she was doing until she felt her legs being spread and something wet against her thighs. She inhaled, realizing what was happening and a hand slipped under the covers to feel Regina's head between her legs.

She leaned back enjoying the touch when she felt Regina's lips on her clit and felt the pressure of her sucking and flicking with her tongue.

Her hand buried itself in Regina's hair and she felt human again. More human than she felt anywhere but with Regina.

But most of all Regina made her feel like a woman again.


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N: This takes place just before, and during the Missing Year flashbacks in 3.19 A Curious thing. Snow is Pregnant._

* * *

><p>The castle was huge, and no one knew it better than Snow and Regina. They knew when they were safe from potential prying eyes. Like this afternoon. Dappled sun was streaming through the window and Snow had Regina pinned against a wall, kissing the queen in a way that would be impossible to explain as platonic.<p>

"Enthusiastic today, are we?"

"I've been wanting to do that since you started flirting with Robin Hood." Snow looked at her a bit possessively. "You are doing it to make me jealous."

"I am not flirting with that man." She said indignantly. "Besides, you insist on having your prince, why should I not have a man to fiddle with."

"Fiddling with him is what you want?" Snow smiled. "I see."

Her hand moved past Regina's divided skirt to squeeze her ass. Regina smiled. "You are possessive Snow." Not that she objected. In the past year the affair that had started as a way of corrupting the princess back in Storybrooke had entangled both of them.

"Once I had my Queen, why should I ever let go?"

"Because you have a Prince? Well, a shepherd making a passable impression of a prince."

Snow smiled, "Was that a compliment Regina?"

"You know I want you to leave him."

"And you know I won't leave my husband for a woman who can't even say 'I love you' despite the fact that I know she does."

"You over estimate your place in my life, Snow."

Snow didn't seem insulted. Instead she leaned down and buried her face in the queen's ample cleavage. She took hold of her hands and started walking her towards the bed. Had it been any other time in their relationship this would have been physical. Maybe even violent. Snow was surprisingly strong after all. But heavily pregnant she couldn't, and Regina wouldn't force her to.

The queen stepped backwards as Snow stepped forwards, and Snow pushed her over into the bed and pulled down at the leather pants exposed as the queen's skirts parted.

"What are you doing Snow?"

"Testing what my place might be." There was a slight glint in Snow's eyes. One that was neither innocent nor nice. "Be a good girl Regina, you know what you have to say."

Snow's fingers stroked gently along her clit, not enough to get her off, but enough to build her up.

"I have never been a good girl, Snow."

"No, but with you Regina, everything is relative. You are an ass... but you are my ass." She punctuated it by pushing two fingers into her. "Now... you know what you need to say."

Regina was stubbornly silent. Snow pushed a third finger in, starting to move her hand, rotating and curing her fingers inside her. Regina inhaled sharply, but looked up into Snow's eyes.

"You know I've been tortured to get information out of me."

"I know. I was there remember?"

"What makes you..." The sentence was lost as Snow found just the right spot.

"I've said it a dozen times over the last year Regina."

"What happened to I don't have to say it back?"

"I lied."

"Like you always do, Snow." There might have been bitterness there, but there wasn't.

"Please Regina, I need to hear you say it." She leaned down and kissed her on the forehead before continuing the slow fucking.

"And I need you to leave your husband, but that's never going to happen."

There was bitterness in Regina's voice. She'd always play second fiddle to David in Snow's heart. But Snow didn't stop or seem offended.

"I need it Regina."

The queen inhaled, and closed her eyes, enjoying the feelings building in her body. Finally she opened her eyes and looked deeply into Snows. "I love you."

Snow's smile was so radiant it lit up the room. She leaned down and kissed again. "And I love you too, my Queen."

"I hate you, Snow."

"There is a fine line between love and hate."

"Are you so sure you want to be flirting with that line?"

She leaned down and kissed her. "I live on that line and so do you."

* * *

><p>The three of them came back to the castle solemnly after the visit to Glinda. What must be done was clear. But Regina understood it better than either Snow or David, and neither seemed willing to listen to her when she told them they were out of their minds.<p>

The Dark Curse. The Dark Curse was the only answer, but it was also the thing that had destroyed her soul. How could they imagine that they could simply cast it and survive. Well, David knew he wasn't, but... there was the other question. The one she didn't want to speak aloud.

David and Snow had disappeared off to their chambers to be together in the hours before they could actually cast the curse. Regina began working on the foundations of the giant potion in the court yard. She wondered if Snow had thought about the irony. This was the place her father had been laid out. This was the place where the kings of her line had been mourned for hundreds of years.

This is the place where Snow would murder her love.

"I somehow didn't expect it to require so much... work."

"Because casting the most difficult and costly spell in the history of magic should be easy. Rumplestiltskin invested so much time in my training when he could simply have made me a monster and ignored making me powerful sorceress." Regina answered testily.

"You are mad."

"You and your husband are casually throwing away something ..." She shook her head, "You really have no idea what you are doing."

"It's what he wants."

"He's an idiot."

"You've said that before." Snow moved up on the opposite side of the giant boiling brass cauldron. "Regina, talk to me."

"The thing you love the most."

"Yes."

"You realize if this works what that means?"

"That David will be dead."

"David will die in the attempt, if it works or not, what I'm standing here hoping is that my lover loves her husband more than me. Because I want it to work. To get back to Henry. Do you realize what kind of horrible person that makes me?"

"It makes you complicated, Regina."

"That I'm hoping you love him more than me so that you can kill him and destroy yourself?" She shook her head. "You know what killing the love of my life did to me."

"You didn't have anyone to help you pick up the pieces. I'll have you."

"If this works."

"And part of you, maybe smaller than the part that wants to see Henry again, is hoping it doesn't." Snow put her hand on Regina's arm. "Because that means I will love you more than him."

"I hate him. I want you to myself."

Snow smiled. "You don't share well." Snow looked off into the distance across the valley. "After tonight you won't have to."

Regina shook her head.

"What?"

"You don't understand. I'd do everything in my power, move haven and heart, not to have you have to do this. I don't want you with David. I want you. But in no world do I want you responsible for his death."

She turned and touched Snow's cheek. "I like my hopeful, happy hero. She will die tonight."

Snow nodded solemnly. "Just as mine died the moment your mother crushed Daniel's heart."

"I would do anything to save you from that."

"David's decision is his."

"Murdering him will destroy you." Regina shook her head. "And I can't seem to get that through your head. This curse is evil and terrible, and it destroyed me. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy."

"Or the woman you love?" Snow asked, perhaps teasing a bit.

"Aren't you always both of those things to me."

"Is it ready?" David called from the entrance to the court yard. Regina beckoned him to come up to the caldron and they all looked at the boiling mass together.

"It's ready."


	10. Chapter 10

_A/N: This chapter takes place during the events of 3.12/3.13. Snow is pregnant._

* * *

><p>Regina's awakened to feel the soft silk of her sheets, and her eyes flew open to see the dimpled ceiling of her bedroom in the house on Mifflin Street. She sat bolt upright in a panic. Unlike the last time she didn't feel an overwhelming sense of having finally won, but instead a sense of confusion and dread. She wasn't supposed to be here. Here wasn't even supposed to exist.<p>

She scrambled out of bed to run to Henry's room, one he hadn't slept in since... well that had been Pan. Since the first curse broke. His bedroom was empty, neat and clean. Untouched as if the boy who's books and toys rested on the shelves hadn't been there in forever.

He hadn't.

Had she made some sort of mistake in undoing the curse... she couldn't have. The price was steep but the magic not complex. She didn't want to pay the price but she'd never have sabotaged it...

She told herself she'd dress and go out into the world to find out what happened, but she was still in her pajamas and robe when the doorbell rang.

Of course it would be a mob. She wasn't going to answer a mob in her pajamas. She started heading upstairs to change when she heard the lock in the door click. Whoever it was had a key... Henry?

But it was not. She saw the back of one of Snow's hideous mohair coats, "Regina?"

"I'm getting dressed, Miss. Blanchard, I'll be down in a minute."

She was prepared for the accusation. For the recriminations. It was Snow after all. She slipped into a pair of slacks and a white blouse, and ran a brush through her hair before she came back down. "I don't know what..." She stopped speaking when she saw Snow standing in the front hall, a hand on her swollen belly. "Well, I know what's happened to you. Been busy dear?"

"Please no jokes Regina," Snow said testily.

"Who said that was a joke. You weren't pregnant yesterday."

"I don't think yesterday was yesterday." Snow put her hands in her pockets, "Regina... did you ...?"

"If this is a new curse I couldn't have cast it."

"Regina..."

"Snow, I couldn't have cast it. I wouldn't cast it. To cast the curse you have to sacrifice the thing you love most... which for me... is Henry."

Snow looked at her for a moment before nodding. "It is Henry."

"Please don't tell me you were wondering if it might be you." Regina said with a snear.

"A girl can dream."

"That would be a very strange dream for you to be having. Where is your husband?"

"He's out checking the town with the dwarfs. Regina... can we sit and have this conversation."

"How far along are you?"

"Well given I have no memory of being pregnant..." Snow responded with a raised eyebrow, and Regina had to admit it was a stupid question.

"Tea?" Regina asked quietly.

"Please."

Regina was relieved. The accusations didn't last long, which rather surprised her. She was quiet while she filled the kettle and readied the pot.

"Regina... it happened right?"

"I've been trying to figure that out. I know I broke the curse. We should have ended up back in the Enchanted Forest. Your... rather sudden state either suggests that you took a sudden interest in sumo wrestling or at least seven or eight months has passed." Regina approached where she was sitting. "May I?"

"Since when have you asked about touching me?"

"I see we're forgetting who started that." Regina raised an eyebrow but did lay a gentle hand on her stomach. There was a warm glow. "Healthy and well along. I'd say eight."

Snow nodded.

"I had ... hoped you'd done it. That the answer would be easy."

"You believe me," Regina actually found herself surprised.

"My track record for knowing when you are lying isn't great, and I don't have Emma's gift, but yes."

"Emma doesn't actually have Emma's gift, you know that?"

"I do." Snow said quietly. "I wish I know where she and Henry were."

"Me too..."

* * *

><p><em>"Regina seems just as confused as the rest of us, I'm not sure she was involved in this."<em>

Snow was turning that over in her head all night while laying in bed next to David. She'd cuddled up to him and he'd put a hand around her, but she knew that was all he'd do. This happened the last time, with Emma, as soon as she was with child he suddenly treated her like a fragile flower that would wilt under any pressure. He'd even forbidden her to ride horseback long before Doc told her she needed. It had been one of their rare fights when they were newly married.

She knew there would be more now, given how... sudden things had occurred.

_"...I'm not sure she was involved in this..."_ She kept turning that statement over in her head. She was sure of it, even with Emma's doubts. The thing you loved most...

Of course that was Henry, and even in her own most self deluded moments Snow could see that. And even if it were her, she was still here, so that must mean Regina was innocent. She kept thinking of the panicked look on her face that morning, and the shock at her condition. Admittedly not the only expression of shock at her condition that day.

Henry's going to break her heart.

She thought about slipping out of the covers and trying to call and warn her, but David turned in bed and lay a strong protective arm over her and that ended that idea. Explaining to her husband that she wanted to call her lover their once mortal enemy to warn her that her son was in town and didn't remember her would be ... quite a conversation.

The next morning though, when she saw the look on Regina's face in the middle of Granny's she wished she'd made the call. She started to get up but she didn't move very fast these days... still not used to that... and Emma was up faster guiding Regina into the back hallway.

Snow had been stuck babysitting Henry the rest of the day as Emma and Regina rushed around apparently playing Nancy Drew. Why didn't anyone invite her to play Nancy Drew. She'd be good at it. Well... maybe not right now she wouldn't.

For some reason she wanted to make a pie that evening. She knew she'd been thinking too much about Regina when she came home from the store with a bag of apples and David had given her a quizzical look. She was working on the pie crust when Emma had come in trailed by a slightly sheepish looking Regina.

David at least kept his hand from going for the sword, but perhaps only because Henry was there and they were still trying to keep it all from him. Except it soon became clear that there was no ill intent in the visit.

"This is Regina Mills, she's the mayor of this town..."

The conversation... the handshake... it broke Snow's heart and she couldn't figure out how Regina was managing to keep her own emotions in check. She was still thinking about it when Emma and Henry had left to go back to the B&B, and Regina had returned home after the revelation about who they were dealing with.

"I want to go check on Regina."

"Snow, there is a witch out there..."

"We've dealt with evil sorceresses before. It never stopped us from living our lives. Besides, there is no reason to think the Wicked Witch has any interest in me. I'll take my car so that I can't be picked off by a flying monkey."

"You know that's not reassuring." David remarked.

"Her son doesn't know who she is..."

"It's Regina," he reminded her.

"It's Regina and she loves that boy more than anything in the world."

"Just... be careful."

"I'll stay over there until sun up again, just to be safe." Snow smiled at him, and felt a little guilty about his reassured smile.

* * *

><p>She let herself into the house without knocking, and quietly hung her coat up in the closet before slipping up stairs. "Regina, are you awake."<p>

There wasn't an answer but there were quiet sobs coming from her bedroom and Snow entered, knowing that Regina would know it was her. She slipped into the bed with her quietly without asking permission and put an arm around her. "It's alright Regina. He's alive. We'll make him remember."

"What... what if it's better if he never remembers me."

The depth of self hatred that the queen could achieve, Snow reminded herself, were epic. "No one is best without knowing their mother. I promise. We'll fix this Regina. And for now... it's alright to just cry, my Queen."


	11. Chapter 11

Snow had watched in horror as Regina's body went flying through the clock tower and it felt like her entire life was flashing before her eyes. She couldn't die. She couldn't die like this surely. At the hands of some evil sorceress. She was always strong. She was Regina.

And she needed her.

She hated that she couldn't get to her fast enough. For one thing Emma actually physically held her back. She kept forgetting she was pregnant, or at least how pregnant she was, but really it didn't matter if she was pregnant with twin half ogres she would have tried to get to her. Her frightened animalistic shout of Regina's name echoed in the silence of the streets as a sizable crowd remained quiet while the Queen was tossed around like a rag doll.

But desperation only got Snow so far, or really it only got her so fast, and David and Emma climbed the steps faster than she did.

"Regina?"

"I'm fine..." Her voice was quiet and pained and Snow was afraid to see her condition.

"You won..."

"Don't be so surprised. It turns out she wanted my heart. Thankfully I wasn't stupid enough to bring it with me..."

Of course Regina was alive, Snow thought quietly as David helped her down the stairs. Regina wouldn't die. Not like that. But as she walked behind the group she saw the difference in the Queen's gate. In her swagger. She was hurting more than she let on. Snow put a hand on David's arm, "She's got at least a couple of broken ribs... I think I should take her home and be with her tonight."

David looked torn and for the first time looking back into them Snow wondered if he knew. He certainly knew that she loved Regina. That much was impossible to hide. But could he possibly _know_? Not that she thought he was stupid, but somehow Snow thought she could carry on an affair with Regina indefinitely without even considering if David would find out.

But the look now was tired and a bit raw, and a bit disappointed. It said without saying, 'I know how you look at her when you think no one else is looking.'

But then he nodded, and all those worries about her marriage and her entire life collapsing under the weight of her obsession went away, "You are right. She shouldn't be alone tonight. She's never going to let us take her to the hospital."

"She's Regina. She'd think of it as weakness."

"She thinks of everything as weakness." David countered.

"For her it is."

She touched his arm and gave him a kiss, but even as she walked away she wondered for the first time if it was the beginning of the end of something. And if she should stop to mourn that, or even stop to stop it ending. But her eyes weren't on David but they were on Regina whose hands were grasping the roof of her Benz like she was dreading the very idea of folding herself into the driver's seat.

And she choose Regina.

At least for this night.

"Don't even think about it. You aren't driving home like that."

"Well, I'm not driving home at all so that isn't an issue princess." Regina said with a sneer. Her old sneer. One that both hurt and Snow found reassuring. If Regina could hate her, just a little bit, she could love her too. Though without her heart...

"Where is your heart?"

"I'm not going to tell you."

"Regina..."

"Go home Snow."

"You shouldn't be alone tonight."

"Go home to your Prince." She turned to look at her, leaning against the car. "I'm really not in shape to baby you today Princess."

Snow glanced around. "Then let me baby you, my Queen. Don't try to do this alone."

Regina gave her a glare, and Snow tried to remember she didn't have hear heart in her. She wondered if she should even try to be around Regina without it. If it would just hurt too much. "Meet me back at the house if you must. But I'm not your baby."

Snow nodded. "You are not. You are my Queen."

Regina grunted a bit in disgust and shook her head as she got in the car and sped away leaving Snow standing in the street. She should have gone back to the loft. She should have written the night off. Regina with her heart could hurt her. Regina without it... might be more than she could take.

But she didn't go to her home, she went to the mansion. She drew a hat bath for Regina, found her first aid kit. She knew Regina would have one. She had a teenage son even if he wasn't staying with her at the moment and set out the materials to clean the cuts and bruises she knew had to be all over the older woman's body.

She went through a glass clock face.

The night had really shocked Snow to her core. It was the first time she'd really thought she would lose Regina. No. That was a lie. There had been the tunnels... and the near execution. It was the first time she thought she would lose Regina since she'd felt like she really had her. She tried not to think about the fact that she had this thought at nearly the same time as she first thought about the possibility of losing David. And it wasn't David who she was waiting for now.

She heard the door open and the sound of car keys being placed on a table.

"Did you get your heart?"

"It's safe." She said with a sigh.

"It's safe... where?"

"Someone is keeping it safe." Part of Snow was jealous and angry that Regina would trust her heart with someone. With someone else she quickly added. And Regina clearly saw what she was thinking, "Oh, my beautiful self centered princess. The Wicked Witch already wants your baby. Should we really make it easy for her by having you carry around my heart in one of your hideously ugly purses?"

"My purses aren't ugly."

"You were really helped by the fact that other people picked out your clothes for you when you were in the palace." Regina said with a sigh.

"I'm going to trust that you are meaner because you don't have your heart in your chest." Snow said with an inhale of breath. "I drew a bath for you, now go up and clean yourself off. I know you've got a lot more pain than you are letting on."

Regina looked like she wanted to retort back. But she also looked like she desperately wanted to sink into a warm bath. So she took that option. She was in there for a long time. Snow wanted to go in and clean her wounds herself, but the thought of sitting on the floor in her condition, or rather the thought of trying to get back up, dissuaded her.

Regina appeared again, wearing a bathrobe and leaning in the doorway, her hair still damp.

"You are still here."

"I am."

"You don't think I'm going to say mean things to you?"

"You say them with your heart in." Snow shrugged. "Part of loving you is loving all of you."

"What about your Prince?"

"What about, David?"

"You don't think he's going to wonder as you stay overnight at my house more and more?"

Snow inhaled. She didn't want to think about this, so of course Regina was going to force her to think about it. "I ... think... I'm here now and this is where I want to be."

"Now."

"Now." She agreed. "Can't I just pretend for one night I'm not throwing away a perfect marriage for the woman who tried to destroy my life?"

"If it was perfect you wouldn't be with me. And it seems to me that you are doing quite the job of destroying your life." Regina paused and closed her eyes. "And perhaps I don't want to be responsible for it."

"Regina... you aren't responsible for what I want." She got up from the table and kissed her passionately on the lips. "And what I want is you. I've always wanted you, my Queen."

And after a moment Regina kissed her back. Because even without her heart she wanted Snow.

And Snow had enough heart for both of them.


End file.
